Friday, November 19, 2010

Conflict

Wondering how people deal with conflict without getting themselves into a "tizzy"? I always find myself feeling torn apart.
Dealing with committee members about holiday preparations at church are my latest "bump" in the road. No one came forward to make plans. I made the plans since I couldn't get a hold of anyone and lo and behold now everyone knows the best way to do this! Really? My first reaction was to get angry and say, "Just because that's the way you've always done it doesn't mean that's the best way!" Then I stepped back and looked inside myself and thought well that's what they're comfortable with and who am I to interfere. I'm just the chairperson which doesn't mean I own the committee, just guide it. When those being guided don't want to be, what's a person to do?
My next inclination is to be resigned to their protests....go ahead, do it your own way, it's one less thing for me to do, you figure it all out. Less work for me. I'll make sure you get full credit~one way or the other. Not a very Christian attitude, I know.
So, what's a person to do? Think I'll talk to some trusted confidants and get their take on this....I don't want my committee hijacked but I also don't want to be a dictator. That's not the way it's supposed to work......Woe is me!
On the homefront, the house is shaping up nicely. All the wood floors have been refinished with Rejuvenate. I love that stuff. Makes older wood floors look lovely. My handmade Christmas gifts are coming along nicely. I ordered the gifts for my grandsons. Still debating on my daughters.....hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Still don't know what the holidays will bring. My husband has said nothing. It's like the 800lb. gorilla in our house! I don't need gifts, a tree, I just want to be with my family...including him. I keep praying and listening for God's answer. I know I'll hear it if I can just quiet myself down enough and be still.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Keeping House

When I was very tiny my Mom used to say that keeping house kept her busy all day long and I used to think, "Where is she keeping it?". Guess I was a literal kid.
Now, I spend a lot of time, keeping house. Keeping it clean. Keeping it tidy. Keeping it organized. Hmmmm, why? Part of it is that I can't stand to be disorganized. If things are out of place it is as though they are looking at me saying, "put me away" . Plus, if I put it away where it belongs, there is a good chance I'll be able to find it the next time I look for it.
Now, picking up after my other half is another story, totally. He's a slob. I can finally admit it. He's a slob and his slobby ways drive me nuts! Why is it so difficult to put the bread back in the breadbox, the butter back in the butter bell and the trash in the trash can. I thought if I left it where he did that sooner or later he'd notice and pick up after himself. Pipe dream! He not only doesn't seem to notice, if by some weird chance he does, he just walks past it. Who does he think puts all the stuff away? There are only two of us in the house, three if we count the little dog but quite frankly I'm pretty sure he doesn't think the dog picks up after him. Guess he just doesn't care. At times he even seems amused to see me picking up and cleaning. Maybe I should go on strike....nah, probably wouldn't bother him in the least and I'd go nuts! I'd have a huge mess to clean up in the end and not have gained anything. Think I'll need a glass of wine before dinner tonight.
Holidays are coming and I'm getting more depressed with every day. Last year neither of the kids could come and it doesn't look like they can this year either. My husband shows no inclination of offering to take me back home so we can celebrate with the kids even though last year he knew I was miserable. He doesn't particularly like Christmas so my celebrations have always been focused around the girls and now the grandsons. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to leave him and quite frankly I'm not sure I'm capable of making the 800 mile drive alone but I don't want another Christmas like last year.
Maybe Santa will bring me a case of wine and I won't care. Well, a girl can hope, can't she? I guess it will work out as it should. I just wish I knew what that was. Hope everyone else is having a wonderful time with the approaching holidays.